悼念巫愁 巫愁的一生充滿愛。她愛人，人亦愛她。愛，她從不宣之於口，而是從心到行動，對人體恤關心。愛，她不是即興给予，乃是涓涓細流，一生付出。她時常請吃飯，给錢親友買東西吃。每吃過一樣好東西，總要與我們分享並帶我們去品嘗。親戚有病，她给錢治療，更送上筆記薄，著記下每日血壓状况。點點滴滴，令我們感動、珍惜、缅懷。 巫愁一生也擁有很多愛，她遇到她的摯愛，楊港生。從認識開始，二十多年來，他們相知，相愛。患病七年，阿楊對她呵護備至，多方包容。默默支持她，直至走完生命最後–刻。家族中各人，長輩、平輩、後輩，都非常疼愛巫愁。 抗癌七年，她忍受極度痛苦，特別是在最後一個月，她肺、腹積水，肝腫大，壓著橫隔膜，呼吸困難，她一直堅持治療，這個時侯，我覺得，死是容易，生是難。巫愁堅持治療，不肯放棄，是希望與我們共渡更多時日，是愛支持她的生命。 七年來，她沒有告訴媽媽患癌，直到今年五月三日她第一次告訴媽媽，她握着媽媽的手，問媽媽是否怪她，媽媽非常明白並對她说：〝我不會怪你，而且非常多謝你，你给予媽媽七年快樂，你好孝順，有你這個女兒，媽媽感到驕傲〞。其實，媽媽是一個十分緊張的人。就算巫愁一聲咳嗽，她都牵腸掛肚，我們怎忍心告知她真相呢? 巫愁很真。有一次，她告訴我，寫了一首詩送给一位尊敬的前輩：〝數載聆教诲，一生受用深。臨別無物贈，寄語祝康寧。〞我說這位前輩一定非常開心。巫愁說，這是在飲茶時有感而發寫在饗纸巾上，不知他有否讀到。巫愁就是如此，很真，是真誠的真。 巫愁低調，不矜誇自傲，我也是從記念網上讀到一則軼事，他們要籌辦–駒音樂劇，〝My Fair Lady〞，她是聯络人，促成此事成功，眾人不知是她做的，而她在這駒劇中，祗扮演一個小角色。一件小事，竟然留在這位同學心中二十年之久。巫愁不知道，她在人生的舞台上，扮演了一個多麽可愛的角色。 巫愁有生活情趣，喜讀書，中英俱佳。據我所知，易經、哲學、科學、武俠、小說、等等她都涉臘。近年在上海，她認識了一位畫家，張伯明先生，善畫蝦竹，巫愁也欣賞其人，她作詩一首送他：〝剛直虛懷像蒼竹，遊戲人生似蝦群；丹青點點由心畫，五湖四海盡知音”。 巫愁非常喜歡她的工作，至死不渝。舊年做化療，打一種叫紅魔鬼的針，但巫愁要求每隔兩週打，每次化療後再打刺激白血球增長的針，以求早日完成化療就返工。我返來陪她，見她走路都不穩了。我勸她休息，她說工作的地方，是她快樂的地方。 5月10日早上，巫愁沒有醒，我們圍在她的床前，握着她的手，陪伴她安詳地離去。於下午一時零五分，醫生確定她去世。 家姊寫五月十八曰 In Memory of Mo Sau Love encompasses Mo Sau’s life. She gave her love and was loved by everyone around her. I seldom heard that she uttered the word, love; but she expressed it through her actions. She cared deeply for others with compassion. This was not driven by an impulse, but her love for others was consistent throughout her life. She always invited us to restaurants and gave money to relatives and friends. Whenever she took good food, she liked to share and invited us to the same place to taste them. She helped to pay medical bills for relatives. Not only doing so, she bought them notebooks and requested them to take records of blood pressure and medical data. All these trivial things touch our heart and will be in our heart forever. Mo Sau embraced a lot of love. She met her life partner, Mr. Yeung Kwong Sang. Over 20 years since they met, they loved, understood and respected each other. While Mo Sau was suffering from cancer in the past 7 years, Mr. Yeung took good care of her, shared in her suffering, and supported her without complaints, until the very end of her life. Mo Sau was also loved very much by all members and relatives in our family. In battling against her cancer for seven years, Mo Sau endured huge suffering. Especially, in the last month of her life, the cancer had metastasized to lung and other areas in her body causing fluid infiltration into lung and abdomen. Her liver was so enlarged that compressed her diaphragm. As a result of that, she had difficulty breathing normally. She never gave up hope and insisted on completing all treatments. Under this circumstance, I think it is easier to choose death rather than to live. I understand that Mo Sau wanted to be with us. It was love that sustained her life. She chose not to tell her mother that she was suffering from cancer. She had kept this secret for seven years until the day of 3 May 2012 when she was critically ill. She grasped her mother’s hand and asked her mother whether she could forgive her for keeping this secret from her for so long. Mother was very understanding of her daughter and said, ”I do not blame you but above and beyond, I am very grateful that you have given me seven years of happiness. You have been filial and I am very proud to have you as my daughter.” In fact, mother is an always overly anxious over us. Even when Mo Sau caught a cold, she could not rest easily. How could we let her know that Mo Sau was suffering from cancer? Mo Sau has a genuine heart. One day, she told me that she had written a poem to her respectful mentor:”For many years under your guidance and teaching, my life has been deeply enriched. By the time we are departing, I do not have a decent gift, but I sincerely wish you happiness, health and peace.” I said to Mo Sau that her mentor would definitely feel touched by her words. Mo Sau said, “Actually I did not know if he ended up reading my poem because I had written it on a napkin while we were having lunch. Like this incident, Mo Sau lived her life with this sincere and genuine side. Mo Sau kept a low key profile. She never exaggerated her success. From this Muchloved website, I learned that Mo Sau played an important role in organizing the musical “My Fair Lady”. Despite that she only acted a minor role in this musical. Her involvement in the success of this musical was relatively unnoticed. This was a trivial anecdote, but it left a lasting impression on her classmate for over 20 years. Mo Sau never came to realize that she had played a lovely role in her life. Mo Sau took up many hobbies. She was particularly proficient in reading. Her Chinese and English were both excellent. As I know, she was interested in various genres of books including Yi Jing, philosophy, science, martial arts and fictions. Recently, she met Mr. Zhang Bo-Ming, a famous artist in Shanghai, who specialized in drawing shrimp and bamboo. Mo Sau also admired him, and she dedicated a poem to him:”Carrying with candid and humble characters like bamboo, living a free life like swimming shrimps. The essence of his paintings reflects his pure heart that appreciated by all confidants over the world.” Mo Sau was greatly devoted to her career throughout her life. Last year she was undergoing chemotherapy with a cytotoxic drug commonly known as the “red devil”. She should have an injection every three weeks according to the drug instruction, but she requested her doctor to change the treatment to a biweekly schedule instead so that she could return to work earlier. After each treatment, she had to be treated with white blood cell booster. I returned home to look after her and I noticed that she was already too weak to walk steadily. I tried to convince her to rest more but she said that her workplace was where she found a lot of joy. On the morning of 10 May 2012, Mo Sau did not wake up. We stood by her bedside, held her hands and accompanied her peaceful passing. At 1:05pm, she was officially declared deceased by the attending physician. Sister wrote on May 18, 2012